Once upon a time, there was a gnome gnamed Gnester. Gnester was a gnice gnome, gnever gneeding too much gnotoriety or attention. In fact, Gnester loved being alone. He didn’t dislike other people; he just really liked not having to plan or be gnavigate the minefield that is social interactions.
One day when Gnester was gkneading dough for his homemade gnocchi, Gnester had a gnotion he had experienced gnearly gnightly.
“I wish someone would tell me if I’m doing this right,” he thought aloud.
It wasn’t gnecessarily praise he was looking for, gnor was it really guidance on the recipe. It was a deep-seated feeling he couldn’t gname. As Gnester gnawed on his gnocchi, he gnawed on this topic deep in his gnoggin.
“What’s this desire?” He kept pondering over and over again. That gnight, Gnester couldn’t find those zzz’s gnecessary for any well-functioning gnome.
The Gnext Day
The gnext day, Gnester was working his shift weirding people out as they walked by his lawn when it hit him. Looking across the street, he saw a yard full of flamingos. When gno one was around, the pink plastic long-gnecked yard decorations would turn to each other and talk about a variety of topics. Gnester could hear them as they lived on the quietest road in Durham, Gnorth Carolina.
“Did you end up making that algae for dinner yesterday?” Gned of Gnest St asked the gnext closest gnest-dwelling yard decoration, Gnelly.
“Yup. It was gnarly,” Gnelly exclaimed. “How about you?”
“I also had some algae, but I added cumin,” Gned explained.
“What a gneat idea!” Gnelly gnoted.
This was a gnoteworthy conversation for Gnester. Gnester gneeded that. He wanted someone to talk to, to share things with. His yard contained himself and a pile of painted rocks. The highlight of his workday involved him waving at his own shadow so that it would wave back. However, he always gknew it wasn’t real.
Checking Gnoogle
At the end of his shift, Gnester went straight home and logged onto the inter-gnet. “How do I meet other gnomes?” he typed into the Gnoogle search bar. After his computer made a sad moan, it showed him over seven billion results. Gnester spent hours eating leftover gnocchi and browsing the first 117 pages of search results. It was overwhelming. It was so overwhelming Gnester fell asleep at his keyboard.
In his dreams, Gnester saw himself running through forests, having tea parties in gardens, and rolling through fields, all of which were with a great group of other gnomes. He awoke with a startled revelation. Gnester needed a group of friends who wanted to hang out in nature.
Taking once again to Gnoogle, Gnester typed in “Nature groups for gnomes” and he got a similar sized result list. However, the very top group was titled “Gnomes Loving Nature: A friend group for gnomes who want to enjoy gnature together.” The best part: The next meetup was today.
With confidence and nervous anticipation, Gnester laced up his polished ceramic boots, put on that red rock hat, and headed out to meet his new friends. It ended up being the most exhausting day of his life so far. However, it was also the most rewarding, enjoyable, and fulfilling days he had ever had.
Gnever The Lonely Gnome Again
Gnester took that first step to find friends who enjoyed the same thing as him, and it paid off. After that, he grew closer and closer with these friends. He took day trips to gardens, forests, and fields. Eventually, he even met that special gnome.
After six months of regularly attending this friend group, a gnew gnome Gnicole joined. It was love at first sight. She was shy when Gnester approached, but it was a picnic, and they both brought gnocchi. The rest is history. Gnester was never lonely again.
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